Moses came to Merseyside by Clare Kirwan

 

Moses came to Merseyside      

Moses came to Merseyside

and waved his magic staff.

It was his trademark trick and so

it always got a laugh.

He turned up at New Brighton,

and shouted from the beach:

I’m going to make the Mersey part

-  it’s only two quid each!

And Moses spake – at quite some length

though muffled by his beard

and people shuffled, keen to start

- that’s why they’d volunteered.

And all of them let out a gasp

when Moses raised his hand -

the waves receded, rolling back

til the river bed was… land.

The habitat was suddenly

more coastal than marine

from Egremont to Pier Head

- a long walk in between

On Fort Perch Rock, a crowd of folk

had gathered to observe

the faithful few traverse the gorge

- the ones who had the nerve.

And birds of prey on roof tops

looked down with greedy eyes

as they set out from New Brighton,

without compass or supplies.

Past rusty junk and sunken hulks

they shuffled on, quite stunned

to see  the bones of murdered men

and all we’ve jettisoned.

They turned to look at Wirral now

- how very small it seemed,

how very grey and far away -

but how Liverpool gleamed!

And how the Liver Buildings loomed

on cliffs that once were docks

now high above their heads – so far

they could not see the clocks

And Moses muttered something

his voice an utter blur

- so difficult to comprehend

through so much facial hair.

Some remarked how tired he looked

- his staff now seemed to quiver

and what’s that watery trickling sound?

and: Here comes the river!

And everybody for themselves

legged it to higher ground

they clung to ropes or climbed the walls.

Only a few were drowned.

This side is ace, the rest agreed,

(except the drugs and crime)

if there was a just a way for us

to come here all the time.

And so they built a tunnel

for they knew – without a doubt –

if they did it without Moses

they could get across for nowt.

But we all know that nothing’s free

- even a giant hole.

You can cross the Mersey any time

but the tunnel takes its toll.

So Wirral folk still stranded

on the river’s other side

still talk about the time that

Moses came to Merseyside.

And we all smile wistfully

when we think about how Moses

gets almost everywhere for free

while we pay through our noses.